Accepting yourself can be confusing and complicated. Sometimes, to make things “simple,” you label yourself and the people around you.
It starts with little things, like habits and traits. Then, next thing you know, you are defining yourself by those same labels.
For example, do you ever get ready for bed at night and feel as though every choice you’ve made that day was the wrong one? You wore the wrong thing, said the wrong thing, left your dirty clothes on the floor, and blamed it on, “Well, I’m just a messy person.”
Then, as if a magic spell has lifted, the next morning you wake up feeling like every decision you will make that day will be the right one, because today, you will be the version of yourself that makes the correct decision.
You know what version I’m talking about. The you that is “clean,” “has it together,” and is proficient in “adulting.”
Choosing the type of person you will be was a constant routine with me. One day, I was the most confident person in the room, and others, I was nervous to speak my mind or what others would think when I did.
For the longest time, I believed I had to be one or the other. I could be the clumsy, goofy Sydni, or the serious and reclusive one. It was a gamble of which I decided to be that day, but never-ending.
After some self-reflection, I began to look around at the people close to me, and even strangers I’d hear conversing.
The closer I listened and looked, the more I realized a trend. Everything was labeled and categorized when it came to other people: “He’s mean,” “She’s cool,” “He’s annoying,” “She’s weird.” The unhealthy trend seemed to marginalize people, shrinking them and making them smaller.
I asked myself, “Why do people do this? Why do we feel the need to sum others up into one single word?”
Are we just all afraid of complexity? That, perhaps, human beings are indeed a walking contradiction, shifting and changing every day?
It sounds silly, but think about it.
You label someone, make up your mind about them with that one word, and POOF–you “know” who they are. It’s so easy to decide who someone is based on your own opinion of them, isn’t it?
Well, you’re wrong, my friend. People aren’t easy, getting to know them isn’t easy, loving them isn’t easy, and understanding them sure isn’t either.
It’s messy. It should be messy.
The label becomes limiting. Not only are you limiting who that person is, but you’re limiting the possibility of seeing that person with all their colors and complexities. Why would you want to see only black and white when you could see rainbows, bursts and splashes of colors? It doesn’t make sense, putting yourself, and people, in boxes they can’t get out of.
I think, at the end of the day, we’re all two sides of the same coin. The coin comes in different sizes, colors, ages and materials, but still just a coin.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself, even if you aren’t quite sure who that is yet.
If you believe in yourself, with all your complexities and contradictions, nothing can stand in your way.
Heads or tails, just be you.
