The return of the NBA is upon us after an offseason of Twitter wars, cat fights and a whole lotta Balls in your face. Now that tipoff is finally here, let’s break down some of the key storylines of the 2017-2018 NBA season.
At the top, of course, are the Golden State Warriors, defending NBA champions and the league’s biggest bully on the block. Now, I’m currently in a conundrum when it comes to the Warriors. On one hand, you have Steph Curry standing up and saying he wouldn’t visit Trump’s White House, which I love. On the other, Kevin Durant played himself (word to Khaled), revealing he has multiple Twitter accounts pretending not to be him which he used to respond to fans. Yo my man, you the greatest scorer of all time, just do you. Warriors will be in the NBA Finals again and I’ll continue to hate them, shoutout to Curry though.
The summer’s biggest drama was definitely centered around the bitter breakup of Kyrie and LeBron. I realize that sentence sounds real Kardashian-ish but Tristan Thompson is ’bout to have a 7-foot-4-inch, all-star center baby with Khloe, so back off. The reality show’s cameras have reportedly been following the Cavaliers around; they ’bout to either go 0-82 messin’ with Kris Jenner or maybe accidentally drop a sex tape.
Now, Kyrie Irving has joined the Boston Celtics to play in what people say is the most racist professional sports town in the U.S. (Mississippi and Alabama don’t have professional teams.) Let’s see if he can deal with that better than LeBron taking shots at him with his subliminal social media game. The Celts will be dangerous with Irving, Hayward, Tatum and Horford and I’m 1,000 percent here for a Celts-Cavs rivalry.
The Houston Rockets added Chris Paul to team up with James Harden, but it’s like that old Internet video, “two guys, one ball” or something like that, things could get messy. The two played in a pickup game over the summer and Paul was already seen mad at Harden for his lackadaisical play. I can’t see any problems arising between the most competitive point guard in the league and the bearded one, shoutout to sarcasm.
My San Antonio Spurs did absolutely nothing in the offseason and it was the best move they could have made. Kawhi Leonard will continue to be a force in the league and most likely reach 50+ wins for the 19th season in a row to finish in the top four. Oh, yeah, Popovich-Kerr 2020.
The brodie Russell Westbrook received some much needed help as Paul George and Carmelo Anthony were traded to the Oklahoma City Thunder. Not sure if y’all are aware, but Hoodie Melo is a real thing and you best hope they don’t allow him to wear it during games (peep my guy P.J. Hernandez’s column on Hoodie Melo at utrgvrider.com) Also, Steven Adams is straight out of “Game of Thrones.”
I’m not sure there’s any team with a brighter long-term future than the 76ers, but you must always remember they are in Philadelphia, and Philly sports teams tend to screw things up. I love me some Joel Embiid, though I trust the process. His game and personality is something the NBA needs, and we’re finally about to see what the young playmaker Ben Simmons can do on the court.
Giannis Antetokounmpo has grown into one of my favorite players in the league with his do-it-all game and go-go-gadget limbs. The dude is a monster on the court and only 22 years old, so I’m excited to see all the hell he’ll cause other teams.
Now, let’s get to the balls of it all.
The Lakers hit the jackpot in landing Lonzo Ball in this year’s NBA draft. Not only did they get somebody who can make players better, but they added maybe the biggest star in the game today, his dad, Lavar Ball. This dude is like Samuel L. Jackson and Vince McMahon mixed into one person and I am absolutely here for it.
So, jump ball.
