From first dates to last

Sol Garcia | THE RIDER

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s sweet to reminisce over memorable dates. 

Before Kimberly Selber was a communication associate professor and graduate program coordinator at UTRGV, she was a graduate student at the University of Texas at Austin. During that time, Selber went on a first date with another graduate student to Half Price Books, the bookstore that was right next to her home. 

“It was literally 15 steps away from my back door, and so, that was his suggestion, ‘Hey, let’s go to Half Price Books,’” she said. 

At the bookstore, the couple gained an insight on the other by learning each other’s book tastes. They talked about books, but soon, they were talking about much more. 

“Not only did we talk about the books, but then we continued talking until late into the night just about everything and anything,” she said. 

After browsing bookshelves, the couple went to a coffee shop to continue talking. 

“We didn’t want the conversation to end, so we knew there’d be another date,” she said. 

Indeed, they had another date and many more since. Selber and her now-husband, Greg Selber, a communication professor at UTRGV, continue to have dates, especially at bookstores. 

“Going to the bookstore has been a staple date for us for over 20 years now,” she said, laughing. “Our date night oftentimes ends up at a bookstore.” 

A special date that stands out to Alondra Sanchez Proa, a marketing junior, began at Philly 77, a restaurant in downtown McAllen. Sanchez Proa and her date were in the outside area with their food, but they were too nervous to finish their meals. 

“I was nervous because I had butterflies in my stomach,” she said. “I got really shy, and I couldn’t even eat.” 

After Sanchez Proa and her date had a milkshake with cheesecake on top, they left to stargaze. That was when Sanchez Proa’s date surprised her with flowers and a necklace that inside said, “¿Quieres ser mi novia?”  

“I said yes,” she said. “It was just a very special memory to me.”

Sanchez Proa is happy she got to experience that memory and others with her then-boyfriend. While the two are no longer together, they remain friends who can rely on each other. 

“We know that we could count on one another if we’re struggling with a problem in our life,” she said. 

  However, not all memorable dates end pleasantly. Sometimes, they can get messy. 

During Kevin Christman’s undergraduate years at Texas A&M University, he joined a dating app in which he talked with a man that was at a bar near Christman’s apartment. They decided to meet at the bar, but what Christman thought was going to be a nice first date, turned awkward when he arrived and discovered his date was drunk. 

“He’s completely drunk, and I’m like, ‘Oh, no, I’m sober and he is drunk. … I guess I’m going to have to take care of him now,’” Christman, a current sociology graduate student at UTRGV, said.

After they chatted, they went to Christman’s apartment. Christman’s date sat on the bed, where he passed out. When he woke up, he immediately threw up on his clothes, the carpet and Christman’s bed. 

Christman helped him clean himself up, but his date passed out again in the shower. 

“It was probably two to three hours when he woke up, and I’m like, ‘Bro, you just threw up everywhere,’” Christman said. “He’s like, ‘I am so sorry.’” 

They ended the night cuddling, but after the next day, they never saw each other again. 

“[If] I have to take care of him on the first date … nah, I’m good,” Christman said. 

After that experience, Christman learned to stop using dating apps. However, those who do use them should sometimes “take it slow” and communicate first what they want before meeting up with someone, he said. 

“You should communicate what you want right away, so the other person doesn’t think otherwise and you both don’t get hurt or both don’t get what you want,” Christman said.  

For the people who are single, enjoy it, he advises. 

“Being single– there’s still some joys in it,” the graduate student said. “You can just be in love with yourself, and there’s nothing wrong to do things that you enjoy by yourself. You don’t always need someone.”