A lesson of love

Before you, my idea of love was so vague and unrealistic, based on fairytales and ideals others made me believe. However, through you, I found how selfless and caring love is. 

We knew each other for so long, but my, I was childish, and never realized how kind you were to me. Your arms were always open, you took care of me, always me before you, and I took it for granted.

You were much older, but your wisdom enlightened my young soul. I guess I was starting to mature, or at least I thought I was, and began to realize how life was hard and unfair at times. You knew about unfairness. Life was not easy for you and in spite it all, you were devoted to God and prayed every morning and every night. I admired that in you and yet, I blame you for not being able to do the same.

We shared most of our afternoons. I made you coffee, you pretended to like it but you never actually finished it. You thought I didn’t notice how you smoked a pack of cigarettes, but lied about it. I regret not stopping you from smoking, and I tried, but you were so stubborn. I learned that from you.

Time went by. You became my best friend, but high school got in the way, and I started to prioritize dumb things. I guess we all go through that phase. I set our relationship aside, but you were the happiest on Sundays, when we saw each other for a few hours. Little did I know, life had other plans for you.

All of a sudden, the clock started ticking, and I instantly regretted not spending every single moment with you.

Time went by fast. It slipped through my hands and things got harder in the end. I couldn’t stand the idea of you leaving, so I got angry, at you, at me, at life for its inevitability.

The day you left, I didn’t say goodbye. I couldn’t bear it, and to this day I regret it, and when you were gone, I realized you were what love is supposed to be.

You did everything for the people you loved. You gave it all to support others. You were protective, you forgot easily, you were the perfect example of an amazing grandmother.

I think about you every day, and how proud you’d be of my accomplishments. I know how to be strong thanks to you. You showed me how love should be, or at least how I want it to be.

But still, you also taught me love is unfair and it can last forever, and that’s the hardest part. Love never goes away.