The recent changes in the weather remind me to understand my own personal growth. Just as nature goes through cycles, I have experienced development, renewal and change.
In the midst of this, I find myself battling the relationship between hardships and change. The challenges I face are like a storm; I’m clouded with uncertainty. I’m unsettled by the future, but I can only hope for a better change.
Just a couple of weeks ago, the time changed to daylight saving. I found myself struggling with the small change. The days are growing shorter and darkness stumbles in earlier. With less daylight, I feel like I am in a perpetual state of a rush.
With this seasonal change, I am also finding ways to embrace the beauty of the longer evenings. As nights grow longer, I find ways to lighten up my psyche with cozy evenings. Going outside feels tantalizing with the sun creeping behind the dreary clouds.
This season, I feel like I am going through internal transformations that make me look forward to the winter, a period of rest when I can look back on my life this year and reflect on it.
I am looking forward to winter break, a month where I can prepare myself for the next year. I wonder what hardships and challenges I will face. I am excited and uncertain. Will I pass my classes? Will I graduate on time? Will I find a new job? The possibilities of creating a great year for myself are in my hands.
I feel a sense of anxiety because I am responsible for my own happiness. I am already scared of what the new year will bring. I feel as if I am always thinking of the future and never the past.
As I navigate this upcoming year, I have high hopes and ambitions for myself, but thinking about the unknown can be extremely terrifying and daunting.
I am mindful of what I have gone through this year and the changes it brought. I got an apartment and a new job. I had extreme uncertainty that I would not be able to do it by myself, but I felt a sense of independence. I am continuing to venture on this pursuit of change.
This reminded me that there can be beauty in embarking on a new journey. Even though it might be hard to let go of things you already have, it can provide an opportunity for renewal.
I’m only losing time and am in a perpetual state of change. But tomorrow’s sunrise holds the promise of a new beginning.
