Accepting the loner in yourself

2 min read

When I first arrived at the university my freshman year, I had expectations to make friends all the time because everyone told me, “College will be the best years of your life,” and “You’ll make so many friends.”

After my first semester in college, I didn’t make any new friends and deep down inside, it hurt me.

When it hurt the most, was when my best friends who left the Rio Grande Valley for school would tell me that they did something spontaneous with their friend groups.

I was happy for them although I remember feeling meaningless.

Whenever I started to dwell on the idea, I would just say that it was my social anxiety, but I knew that was a lie.

While I did have friends outside of school, they were not people who I should have been associating myself with, because they didn’t have goals nor any priorities. 

In retrospect, my grades weren’t so great, and I just wanted to be in school for the good times and not put in the effort in class.

At some point, I knew I had to change my bad habits and that if I wanted to turn the situation around, changes were going to have to be made.

I dedicated my days to studying more and focusing on myself.

Most of the time, I found myself reflecting and thinking about every single aspect of my life.

Over time, I started to mind my own business and, without realization, isolating myself from the world. However, I did not feel alone.

I became OK with the idea that I didn’t need friends to be complete, and started to feel happy with my life.

Now, of course, over time, I started to understand myself and accept who I was, and I believe that’s when my life turned around again.

A whole new perspective on life allowed me to start new friendships that I cherish today.

I am not saying that it is the same for everyone or that it happened over night, but you do not need people to be happy. 

Life has a plan for you. So, although life has your spirits down, the feeling will not last forever.

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