Whenever I see a father-daughter relationship, I always ask myself, “How would it feel to be treated like daddy’s little princess?”
I did not grow up receiving that treatment. I come from a Hispanic family where many times, it can be difficult for a father to show his affection for his children.
As a young woman, I need to be reminded how much someone loves me because I doubt if they really care about me otherwise.
My father is one of the best human beings I know. He has also taught me how I want to be treated. The relationship I have with my father is not bad, but it is not the best either.
I don’t think I ever had those nicknames that a father gives his daughter. “My princess,” “my little girl,” “mi niña.” Sometimes, those little words matter a lot.
My father is a hard-working person. For as long as I can remember, he has worked long hours every day of the week to provide everything for my family.
He starts his day between 4 and 5 a.m. to get ready for his first job, which is from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. Then he gets home around 2:30 p.m. He rests and leaves again around 3:30 p.m. for his second job, where he doesn’t have an arrival time. Sometimes, he can get home at 10 p.m. or midnight, depending on how much work he has.
I feel my dad has missed many memories and his job will always come first. He wants to give me, my brother and my mother a good life. But as my mother says, “You will always be replaceable in a job. You leave and the next day, they hire a new person to fill your spot.”
In my house, Thursdays are family days because my dad doesn’t work in the afternoon. My brother and I fight to choose where we go to eat. It is the day when we can go out as a family and just spend time with each other.
For me, spending time with the family on Thursday afternoon with my dad is enough.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t have many memories with my father. I didn’t receive the daddy’s princess treatment because my father doesn’t usually share his emotions. He is a reserved person.
Sometimes I feel that, because of him, I am the way I am. It is difficult for me to show my emotions. Now that I’m older and in a relationship, it can be hard for me to open up with my significant other and tell him how I feel.
It shouldn’t be hard. I must not follow that pattern. I must break it. But why is it so difficult for me?
I don’t deny that my dad loves me. I know that he loves me, my brother and my mother, but his way of loving is different.
Someone recently told me that my relationship with my father defines what I look for in a relationship. Depending on the way my father is with me, I look for my significant other to be the opposite way and replace something my dad couldn’t provide. I kept thinking about it and asked myself, “Why am I looking for someone to protect me? Someone to make me feel loved.”
I don’t want to imply that my father is a bad person because he is not. I know that everyone has different ways of loving and showing affection. But many times, replacing love with material things is not enough. Sometimes all I want to hear is “I’m proud of you” or “Esa es mi hija.”
I want to be daddy’s little princess.
