Humans are social creatures. Even the most introverted, antisocial individuals still feel and need human interaction and relationships to function a normal, happy lifestyle.
Loneliness paired with depression can make people commit selfish acts in the hopes of curing it, without ever taking into consideration the effects their actions have on their love interest. These people do not care about the people they fancy. Even if they claim to, it is always rooted in a selfish need to fill the hole that loneliness left behind.
I feel that everyone falls in love with the idea of a person, never the actual person. Falling in love with an actual human being is something that is achieved through time, patience and effort.
Some people never learn to accept, compromise or adapt themselves to better fit the person they want to attract, never learning to accept that, perhaps, it was not meant to be, and never fully realizing that their love interest is their own person and take into consideration their wants and needs.
For example, I often see people who are lacking in hygiene, have an ugly personality, have no pride or care in their appearance and an overall outlook on life that is rooted in negativity. Yet, their ideal personification of their significant other is the exact opposite of how they present themselves. When they fail to attract their ideal significant other, they blame others around them instead of contemplating that problem could be them.
They set up a fantasy in their heads, and anything that comes along to break their fantasy is met with resentment and anger, resorting to emotional manipulation, or an aggressive persistence to claim or mold their love interest for themselves.
We’re all dealing with our own issues. It’s selfish to think that being with someone romantically will cure you. You don’t think that your romantic interest has issues to deal with, too? What guarantees that your life will remain happy and easy after you’ve managed to get together? If you’ve spent this long dealing with your personal issues, what makes you think that all of that will go away automatically just by being in a relationship?
It’s dumb and illogical to rest all your future hope for happiness into one person that you happen to fancy.
Anybody who has been in a relationship knows that personal problems still and will probably continue to exist after the fact. Sometimes, it’s just a battle we cannot fix. The only possible “fix” is to manage our battles.
I think some people need to find a way to help themselves when it comes to finding happiness. That’s nobody’s responsibility but your own.
