Friends, crushes, first kisses

February brings a mixture of emotions: longing, jealousy, disgust, bitterness, disinterest and sometimes even love. This time of year also makes us reflect on our past relationships and sometimes even “the one that got away.”

Whatever you may be feeling at this time of year, you should really take advantage and snag some heart-shaped chocolates when they go on clearance on Friday.   

But in all seriousness, Valentine’s Day is a day to express all kinds of love and The Rider reached out to campus community members to ask about their first experiences with love.

Computer science sophomore Fernando Gonzalez recalled his first crush, whom he met in middle school.

“When I was in, I think, seventh grade, I was up in Virginia [and] whenever I had a class with her, I’d hang out with her a lot,” Gonzalez said. “I know, specifically, my math honors teacher and my parents [were] like, ‘You should date her.’”

It was their time spent together in class when he really got to know her.

“We had an engineering class together,” he said. “It was an elective, and when we had a group project, we would do it together. I [also] had math with her and we’d sit next to each other and she was a good artist.”   

Crushes can develop at an early age and can be on anybody and everybody, whether they are on a fictional character, celebrity or childhood friend. 

Accounting senior Lauren Elder saw her first crush in the movie “High School Musical.”

“It’s so embarrassing but [I] had a crush on Troy Bolton from ‘High School Musical,’” Elder said. “Troy Bolton is a goody. That was the one big [crush] I remember. I was in love with him, still am.”

Asked about his crushes, biology senior Oscar Cazares chose singer Ariana Grande.

“I would go with Ariana Grande for my celebrity crush,” Cazares said. “She’s nice and talented.”

Psychology sophomore Lonnie Martinez’s celebrity crush is Johnny Depp, but she met her first crush when she was 15 years old.

“My celebrity crush was always Johnny Depp,” Martinez said. “But in reality, my first crush was my husband. I was in love with him [for], like, forever and we’ve been together ever since.”

They started dating in 2005 and are now married and have five children together.

“He was my first kiss,” she said. “He was my first everything, so I haven’t experienced much, like, other than with him.”

Biomedical sciences sophomore Sammy Gutierrez had his first crush when he was in elementary school.

“I remember it was my fourth-grade class,” Gutierrez said. “We were in PE. It was basically, like, the new girl in school; nobody knew her. All eyes [were] on her because she was new, you know. But at the same time, I knew everybody else liked her too. So … she attracted a lot of attention.”

Gutierrez’s first kiss was in middle school.

“If I had to determine a time period, it was between sixth and seventh grade, because I was getting into sports at that time,” he said. “I remember it was after practice, my football practice.”

With love, comes hardships, but we have learned a lot from all of our past experiences.

Gonzalez explained that although love is good, it is often difficult, especially when you’re young and barely starting to date.

“It’s tricky when you’re not married,” he said. “When dating, you have to find out about them … and you have to know the difference between infatuation and actual love.”

Computer engineering freshman Sebastian Montalvo admires his parents’ relationship and hopes to have one as strong as theirs some day. 

“My parents’ relationship is probably the best relationship and the most optimal [one],” Montalvo said. “Both my uncles have gotten divorced and one of them got remarried. It’s pretty weird seeing two divorces, but my parents are still together, so I’m, like, ‘Wow, you must be pretty good together.’”

Love also requires patience and a lot of effort. Elder believes that love itself is limitless and can be shared with everybody.

Cazares emphasizes the importance of keeping a leveled head and being realistic when pursuing a relationship.

“I learned that you have to take it slowly with love because, you know, it could impair your judgement, so try not to be so up in the air about it because it messes with your head,” Cazares said. “Keep yourself grounded and [realize] that it’s not all about romantic love, but it’s also about friendship and family.”

Besides romantic love, Valentine’s Day also celebrates bonds between friendship and family.

“I wish my friends a happy Valentine’s Day because in Mexico, it’s Día del Amor y la Amistad, so I let them know how much I appreciate them that day,” Cazares said. “I let them know in Spanish because it feels weird if I say it in English, because in America, it isn’t related to friendship that much, but in Mexico it is.”

I personally believe the concept of “the first” is a myth. It is a memorable experience, but that first love, crush or kiss is just as important as the next one.

Every experience we undergo is one step closer to becoming better versions of ourselves.