The NBA playoffs are upon us and all those meaningless regular season games from October through April finally mean something. The matchups are set and this year’s postseason looks to be the most exciting they’ve been in years, so I’m going to make my predictions round by round and they’re so money, you don’t even know it, word to Vince Vaughn.
Let’s start in the Leastern Conference. Only kidding, the East has stepped up its game this season to actually provide LeBron and the Cavaliers some competition. The Boston Celtics and their leprechaun leader Isaiah Thomas are the one seed and are taking on the eighth seed Chicago Bulls. Former Celtic Rajon Rondo is now with the Bulls and will be in full-on revenge mode, in hopes to show the entire city of Boston it broke up with the wrong one. In the end, I can’t see Jimmy Butler’s Bulls doing enough to beat the deep Celtics team–Boston in six.
To much surprise, the Cavaliers finished as the two seed this year to match up with the seven seed Indiana Pacers. The regular season and early postseason rounds have to be boring to LeBron by now, and he, Kyrie and shirtless J.R. Smith will yawn their way into the second round with ease–Cleveland in five.
The Toronto Drakes earned the three seed to play the young Milwaukee Bucks. The Raptors made a good midseason move in acquiring Serge Ibaka, who could be the missing piece they need. The thing they for sure do not need is Drake trash-talking players from his courtside seats, writing checks with his mouth the Raptors will have to cash. How about sitting down and writing another sad song, bro? While the “Greek Freak” Giannis Antetokounmpo is emerging as one of the most dominant and unique stars in the league, the baby Bucks will have to wait another year to sneak into the second round–Drake in five.
In the four-five matchup, the Washington Wizards are up against the Atlanta Hawks. John Wall has turned the Wizards into legit competitors with his blazing speed and finishing ability, while Bradley Beal has emerged as the threat he was seen when drafted out of Florida. The Hawks and Paul Milsap will not be enough to advance, and if they are, Trump will rig the series in favor of Washington because that’s how he gets down–Wizards in seven.
In the Western Conference, to absolutely nobody’s surprise, the Warriors are the No. 1 seed again. Golden State has been the favorite to win the championship all year and with Kevin Durant jumping on the bandwagon, their haters are ready to Jordan meme them to oblivion if they fall short of the NBA title this year. Big Game Dame Lillard called his Blazers winning the series in six, but Draymond Green’s feet have other plans–Golden State in four.
The second-seeded San Antonio Spurs are playing the Memphis Grizzlies in what could be the snooze-fest of the first round. This series does have some exciting storylines, though, like the Gasol brothers squaring off, maybe Manu’s last season and the possibility of Zach Randolph mauling somebody. Meanwhile, Kawhi Leonard and Greg Popovich look like they will straight up Dexter you and go on about their business of racking up wins–Spurs in five.
In a series showdown between MVP candidates, the Houston Rockets are facing off against the Oklahoma City Thunder. James Harden and the brodie Russell Westbrook, after both posting historical seasons, will go blow-for-blow in this exciting matchup. The series should be an electric factory from beginning to end, I fully expect Russell to continue his nightly triple-doubles, Harden to flail into people and Steven Adams to demoralize opponents with his mustache. In the end, the Rockets team talent will be too much for Durant’s ex–Rockets in seven.
The fourth seed Los Angeles Crybaby Clippers matched up with the fifth seed Utah Jazz is truly a tossup between the two teams. Chris Paul and Blake Griffin are notorious for coming up short in the playoffs and the Jazz have the right sound to dismantle the Clippers with Gordon Hayward, Rudy Gobert and my guy Bobo Diaw–Utah in seven.
Second round matchups–Boston over Washington in seven, Cleveland over Toronto in six, Golden State over Utah in five and San Antonio over Houston in seven.
Conference finals predictions–Cleveland over Boston in six and Golden State over San Antonio in seven.
NBA Finals prediction–a third Finals matchup in a row between the Warriors and Cavaliers where LeBron will cement his legacy as the greatest player to ever grace the hardwood when Cleveland wins the NBA championship for the second year in a row–Cavaliers in seven.
Whether or not all my picks are right (they are), the 2017 NBA playoffs will be filled with drama, excitement, and maybe a kick in the nuts or two.
