Life as a CODA

UPDATED: Nov. 9, 2021

Raise your thumb, index finger and pinky. That is “I love you” in American Sign Language, which my family uses daily in our household. My childhood was very different from other children, but I wouldn’t change anything about it.

I grew up with deaf parents, and I am what is known as a CODA (Child of Deaf Adults). When I usually tell people my parents are deaf, they always ask, “How did you communicate with them?” And I would tell them the same way you learn how to speak English or Spanish.

At an early age, I learned sign language by watching my parents sign or with the help of my sister.

However, it was difficult for me to learn some signs because I’m the youngest of four. My sister, who was the first child, was the interpreter for my parents and me, because she was the most fluent.

Because of this, my mom would make up signs that weren’t sign language that she used with me; they were more like gestures. I didn’t learn that until I got older, but when I found out, my mom finally stopped with the gestures and used actual American Sign Language. Even though I’m not fluent in ASL, I can keep a conversation going.

As I grew up, I learned a mixture of basic American and Mexican Sign Language because my mom used American Sign Language and my dad used both. Growing up, learning these different forms of sign language is one of the reasons why I chose deaf education as my major. I want to learn more about the deaf culture, more American Sign Language and be able to use a broader vocabulary not only with my parents, but also with hearing, hard of hearing and deaf people.

When you’re a CODA, your parents put a great amount of trust in you. It made me grow up faster than my peers, since my parents would drag me to their appointments to interpret. I believe it was a blessing because those responsibilities led me to do my best in school and achieve my goals. Because I didn’t want them to lose trust in me or let them down. I think without my parents, I wouldn’t be receiving these good grades in school. They made me mentally prepared for what would come my way.

When using sign language, you have to make facial expressions and gestures while signing the word. I got so used to seeing my parents make those expressions and gestures that when I started going to school, many people asked me why I move my hands and make funny facial expressions when I speak.

Before, I used to get embarrassed. However, my parents taught me to not care about what people thought of us, and to act how we want to even if it looks crazy. I guess that is how I gained the confidence to be who I am and not change myself.