Love is a battlefield

If reality shows have taught us anything about dating, it is that the fleeting sparks often lead to fizzling relationships. And, in an era dominated by online dating apps and social media, traditional methods of finding love may seem archaic. 

Team Victoriam, a club at UTRGV, brought back a classic approach to connecting with potential partners through speed dating.

The club hosted “Fall For Me” on Thursday in the Student Union Sage Room on the Edinburg campus, in the hope students will fall in love with someone or just make a new friend. 

“We want to get people together because it’s fall, [and] the pun was too good for me to pass,” said Kevin Flores, a computer science sophomore and Team Victoriam member.

While swiping left or right on dating apps can be convenient, many individuals are seeking more meaningful connections.

“Online, you can lie about a lot of things,” Flores said. “… And you imagine things of how they [might be] that probably [are not] true. Face-to-face, you get a real sense of who they are.”

Speed dating provides an opportunity to meet in person, engage in conversation and gauge chemistry in a controlled setting. 

“It’s good to meet someone new to talk to,” Flores said. “And even if it doesn’t end up as something, end up [a relationship], it’s just nice to meet someone and have a good time.”

The event was a lively affair, with students from diverse academic backgrounds mingling and sharing their passions and experiences. 

I had never considered myself a speed dater. I even dislike speeding on the road. But, like many others growing weary of the virtual world, I decided to give it a try.

My first speed date was with studio art freshman Mox Liscano, who favors Olivia Rodrigo’s energetic music over Taylor Swift’s and has a deep-seated hate of spiders, stemming from a traumatic childhood encounter.

Liscano, already in a long-term relationship, said she attended the event to make new friends and that, for her, there was no difference between meeting people online or in person. 

She added that, while in-person friendships require regular interaction and spending time together, online friendships can also be deep and meaningful if you invest enough time and effort.

Liscano was just chatting about her past heartbreak when the alarm buzzed, signaling it was time to switch partners, leading me straight to my next date. The speed in speed dating was no joke. 

I moved over to the seat on the right and met electrical engineering sophomore Manuel Flores. His eyes were instantly drawn to the camera in my hands, given his deep love for photography.

He shared beautiful photos of nature and butterflies that he took with his Canon camera in the Quad. 

Flores came clean: He is not in the market for a relationship but was brought along by his friend. 

“I like to have a good time, and I had free time,” he said. 

He might not be seeking a relationship, but I wondered if he had any thoughts on the differences between online and offline dating.

“I do think there’s a difference,” Flores said. “… There’s not the same connection. There’s different things that can happen in person, like [each other’s] body language, how you speak, the way you present yourself. I feel it’s way different, and you can’t get that online.”

He said he does not use any dating apps, but his friends have tried them in the past, and none of their relationships have worked out. He thinks it is pretty rare for that to happen.

I asked Flores what would be a good way to meet someone. 

He replied somewhere where you like to hang out. 

“For instance … you meet someone at the library, you walk up to them and say, ‘Hey, I thought you were very attractive. Can I get your number?’” Flores said. “That’s very forward. Me, personally, I’m not as forward. I’m very laid-back.”

“So, you just stare at them from a distance?” I asked. 

Flores laughed and replied, “No … [I prefer] meeting someone, like, that I have something in common with. Like, we’re in the same class [and] have some sort of dialogue together. … That’s how a friendship or relationship starts.”  

As quickly as it started, my speed dating adventure was as brief as a summer fling, but I had to ask Kevin Flores what his favorite pickup line is. 

“My favorite pickup line? One or two?” he asked. 

I told him to tell me two. 

“Please pick one,” Flores said.

I said, “OK, one.” 

He said, “You’re the one for me.”