Sacrifice at heart of holiday

Valentine’s Day can be a symbol of commercialization, from the vibrant red heart-shaped balloons to the sweet aroma of flowers. However, there is a deeper message of love and connection that goes beyond the roses and balloons.

The holiday started with the martyrdom of a Christian saint named Valentine, who was executed on Feb. 14 in 269 A.D. During the Middle Ages, Europeans began associating the day with love and romance, according to Census.gov. 

“Love-struck couples began exchanging Valentine’s Day greetings in the 1700s, and the custom’s popularity grew as the cost of postage and printed paper valentines decreased in the 1800s,” its website states. “Today, couples throughout the United States—and the world—observe Valentine’s Day with the exchange of cards, candy, flowers, and other gifts.”

Sunaina Chugani, an assistant professor of marketing at UTRGV, said when Valentine’s Day comes around, there is a need to express love to our loved ones.

“So when that happens, as consumers, we start looking for strategies to meet that need,” Chugani said. “… And so, as we start looking for strategies, marketers come in and say, ‘Hey, I can solve that problem for you. I can help your family feel loved.’ And we’re bombarded with advertising to help us meet those needs for expressions of care through consumption.”

Overall, consumers plan to spend a total of $25.8 billion to celebrate the holiday, according to the latest statistics on Valentine’s Day by the National Retail Federation.

“Consumers expect to spend $185.81 each on average, nearly $8 more than the average Valentine’s Day spending over the last five years,” the NRF website states.

Chugani said there are other ways to meet the need to let a loved one know that you care, such as cooking them dinner, writing a letter, going on a trip or spending time together.

“But because we live in this capitalistic economy, marketers really chime in and say you can meet that need by spending money,” she said. “And that ends up being what a lot of people do, because it’s easy, it’s convenient. And it is kind of in our face all the time.”

Consumerism during Valentine’s Day can take away the emphasis on love when marketers push different ways to show affection by buying things, Chugani said.

She said it’s easier for brands to target people through advertising.

“If somebody likes Louis Vuitton on Facebook, Louis Vuitton can create an ad that says … target people who like luxury products, target people who follow certain influencers and so on,” Chugani said. “So, it’s definitely easier to target people, not only on Valentine’s Day, on every other day of the year.”

Despite the commercialism that surrounds Valentine’s Day, Saraí Mancías, a licensed psychologist at UTRGV, said the holiday is an opportunity to practice self-love and self-care.

“When I think about self-care, I think about things that someone can do to help improve their well-being, whether that’s their physical, mental or spiritual well-being,” Mancías said. “Maybe taking a walk, spending time with friends [or] with family, or maybe going to the gym, or maybe treating themselves to their favorite meal.”

She said another part of self-love is self-compassion, being gentle with ourselves.

“Oftentimes, we are really hard on ourselves than we are with other people,” Mancías said. “We are more likely to give someone else a kind hand and help them through whatever it is that they’re going through. But, we don’t often do that for ourselves.”

She said love can be different for everyone and it is important to know their love languages.

“For some people love might be, you know, their partner, their friend or someone gifting them things,” Mancías said. “I think it’s important to maybe consider, like, the love languages, and there’s so many different ones, such as gift giving, affection and physical touch, right? So, I think it’s really important for us to, kind of, consider the context of that person.”