Some say the United States has never been more divided than it is today, while some maintain America has never been better than it is now under President Trumpty Dumpty.
I mean, it’s not like there are still people of color treated unjustly, women treated unequally and there certainly is no way there are TIKI torch-wielding Nazis walking the streets of America.
In times of difficulty and despair, the world needs heroes to turn to who can bring people together.
That’s why four of America’s greatest superheroes–Bill Belichick, Greg Popovich, Tim Tebow and Lavar Ball–must unite to prevent Prima Donald, Russian Vlad and “Rocketman” from ending the world as we know it.
Just imagine Belichick in his half-sleeve hoodie drawing up schemes to take out groups of khaki-wearing goofs, Popovich shooting ice grills at egg avatars come to life, Tebow delivering the most motivational prayer at these heathens while Ball swag walks and trash talks their heads off.
Stan Lee couldn’t even dream up a lineup of superheroes this great.
You think Trump can handle himself well when being grilled? These four will take care of him and his white supremacist buddies.
Popovich served five years in the U.S. Air Force and is the most woke head coach in any professional sport. Meanwhile, little Donny cried about bone spurs in his foot that kept him out of serving his country in war; poor little guy. Pop would stare at him dead in the eye until Trump inevitably starts crying uncontrollably. Chalk it up as another W for the Spurs great.
Belichick has been rumored to be a Trump guy, but anybody who cares about their appearance as little as Belichick does could not be rooting for a grown orange baby. He would be the inside man, penetrating the Russian regime to bring them down one by one and not once show any sign of emotion. It’s on to the next foreign dictator.
Tebow would be the kill-them-with-kindness type, and then once he has you close, he betrays your trust, sort of like the way the Catholic Church does.
Then, Big Bad Lavar Ball would bring in the muscle. You ever seen so much swagger in one person? His swagger is on a hundred thousand, trillion. Those are levels so high it will bring the dead animal on Donald’s head back to life, whatever it is.
Donny and crew think they can do whatever they want? Not if these four have anything to say about it. And these four probably aren’t saying much. Except Tebow, he’s just preaching. Oh, and Lavar, he’s definitely somewhere talking trash.
These are the heroes that America needs.
