Avery Arizola | THE RIDER
I have been fortunate enough to not have endured the loss of a loved one in my life.
Yes, I have lost friends, opportunities, possessions, but I have yet to feel the sharp knife of grief. I do not understand the pain that comes with death.
Last month, I almost lost my 13-year-old dog to liver disease. It was traumatizing to watch the dog that I have had since I was 8 almost lose her life.
The whole time I thought to myself, “This is growing up. From this moment onward, I am going to experience more loss and be more equipped to cope with it.”
Fortunately, my dog recovered.
However, tragedy did not stop. Within weeks, I was supporting loved ones through their losses, and I struggled to offer proper support.
Apart from listening and offering my condolences, I felt there was a wall that is usually absent when I speak to my loved ones.
I could not say, “I know what you’re going through,” because I do not. I will never understand grief and mourning until I experience it myself.
In my quest to understand what grief is and how I could help people suffering through it, I learned that supporting someone that is grieving is about simply being there.
It is important to listen when you are helping someone that is grieving. Ask them how they feel, validate their emotions and express your love and care.
Hold their hand along the way, but also understand that it is not your journey. Offer support, but know that everyone grieves differently and there is no right way to grieve.
Even though I have learned about grief, nothing will prepare me for when it comes. I will find comfort in that fact that I know that I will heal through a painful tug-of-war of letting go and holding on.
