Every February, people begin to plan what they will do on Valentine’s Day. Out of nowhere, they start seeing others entering into new relationships. But you? You’re stuck in the friendzone.
You’re not alone. The Rider surveyed 248 UTRGV students in a Facebook poll about being friendzoned. The results showed:
–102 victims have been friendzoned;
–101 have not, but friendzoned someone else;
–36 have been victims, but also friendzoned somebody;
–And nine have never been in the friendzone.
“The friend zone is a figure of speech for what happens when one person wants to take things to the next level romantically but the other person just wants to be friends,” according to Dictionary.com.
Personally, I can tell you that I friendzoned someone recently. Everyone knew that my best friend was in love with me and I never accepted it.
Suddenly, he stopped talking to me, which left me wondering if I had done something wrong. He wanted to ignore his feelings, but he eventually reached out to me and confessed them. I was already in a relationship by then.
A similar experience happened to computer engineering senior Julio Cantu.
“Some girl that I work with, I didn’t have feelings for her, but she did for me, and it was just really awkward,” Cantu said.
Like Cantu, English senior Alejandra Hernandez has not been a victim of the friendzone. She has, however, friendzoned many others.
“I have no experience with, like, romantic relationships, so I’m quite afraid of that,” Hernandez said. “And so, whenever someone approaches me with that intention, I make it clear right away that I have no intention of having, like, any sort of boyfriend or anything right now.”
For those who have been, or are in the friendzone, it is a different story.
Freshman Vivianna Puentes was not lucky when shooting her shot.
“I liked a guy and then he was just like, ‘Well, I don’t like anybody at the moment,’ and then he ended [up] in a relationship 10 days after,” Puentes said.
The bright side? She eventually moved on and has friendzoned others herself. Puentes said she works at a gym and always ignores the guys that throw out their masculinity everywhere.
Mechanical engineering junior Jorge Ascencio told The Rider he has his own definition of the term.
“Someone who you see as a friend,” Ascencio said. “Someone who you don’t see attractive to go out with. I mean, they may be attractive, but you … don’t have that chemistry.”
Unlike other testimonies, he assured that he has never been friendzoned and he has never friendzoned anyone either.
“Whenever I ask a girl out or something, I’ve never actually had, like, [her] tell me like, ‘Oh, I see you as a friend,’” Ascencio said.
He believes that getting out of the friendzone is possible. Ascencio said that fictional character Ronald Weasley from the “Harry Potter” series is the best role model of someone who escaped from it and actually ended up dating the girl.
“It helps if your last name is Ronald Weasley,” Ascencio said. “I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s part of the … secret answer to actually get out of the friendzone.”
UTRGV faculty had different opinions about the friendzone.
Writing and Language Studies Lecturer I Jeffrey Doyle said he does not believe in the idea of friendzone. To the best of his knowledge, he has never been friendzoned and has not friendzoned someone.
“I don’t like the idea of the friendzone, like, if someone doesn’t like you, then, like, that’s OK,” Doyle said. “I feel like you should, like, be open and honest and communicate with people from the beginning.”
The lecturer said he advises people who are stuck in the friendzone to move on.
“Get over yourself ’cause you don’t have any rights to another person, so learn to appreciate them for who they are and not what you want them to be,” Doyle said.
Anthropology Assistant Professor Sarah Rowe did not share any related stories because she rejects the idea of the friendzone.
She believes that the friendzone is problematic and enforces false romantic expectations in society.
“For Valentine’s Day, make sure you are appreciating and enjoying the company of all of the people around you, whether they’re significant others, friends, family; it doesn’t just have to be about romantic love,” Rowe said.
The experts have spoken. If you do not have a date this Valentine’s Day, do not be discouraged. You are not the only one. If you shot your shot and got shot down, do not feel sad. Numerous people have been victims of the friendzone and are still standing.
–Fernando Ramirez/The Rider photos
