The summer before sixth grade, I lost my best friend.
We knew each other since we were young, and I lost her.
Not because we fought over who was the fastest in doing homework or who got to sit in the front of the classroom.
She was actually gone and my mind could not comprehend it.
I remember when my mom told me what was happening. I was sitting on my bed at home, watching a movie like any 11-year-old would do.
My mom sat down next to me and explained what had happened to her. She was in the hospital.
After that, we waited for weeks to get any new updates on the situation. I would ask for her during the summer and wonder how she was doing.
She always had a smile on her face; she was a happy kid, like me.
One day, my mom got the news, a few weeks before I went back to school.
I was sitting on my bed. The last thing I expected that summer day was to hear that.
The shock, the feelings and the confusion did not let me cry. I was numb.
Having to experience that at such a young age is difficult. It really did change something in me.
Going back to school and seeing our friends after the burial caused a feeling inside of me like there was something missing.
She did not know she was not going to have a tomorrow.
Since then, she has always been on my mind, in and out.
I live with the constant thought of what if she was still here, with us, with her family and friends.
Would she go to the same college as I? Would purple still be her favorite color? Would she like my favorite song? I am never going to get these answers.
If something like this has happened to you, it is weird to think about how life would be with them.
You are not alone. Everyone experiences grief at some point and life will feel like a new “normal” eventually.
But I always wonder if what I’ve done so far in my life has made me truly happy, if I am really taking advantage of my time here.
With this in mind, I always remind myself to do what I love, stand up for what I believe in, go on walks, make new friends, listen to music super loud, travel and enjoy life.
Even if this sounds cliché, tomorrow is never promised.
So, we have to live every day like it is really the last one, to remind ourselves that we are so small compared to the whole universe.
Don’t stop yourself from dreaming and doing what you love because of what others might say.
Thank God when you wake up and tell your family and friends, “I love you.” Check on others, dream big, experience love and do whatever makes you happy.
We are young and still have a lot of life to experience, but we don’t know how much time we have left on Earth, so make the best of it.
Live life for the ones who are not here anymore. Let them live through you.
